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I think, therefore I um…
Descartes has a senior moment.
Michael Schott ’77
The butter did it
How I became fat.
Noah Stern ’93
Die Moistersinger
Singing in the shower.
A. M. Eisenstein ’51
A vast eight-wing conspiracy
Dragonfly plan for world domination.
Tom McClellan
Take a pull every four hours while awake
Prescription for alcoholics.
K. Hazeltine ’52
Mad About Yoo
Boalt Hall students stage protest.
Joe Traynor ’57
You’ve Got Hail
Online weather report.
Kathie Zatkin ’72
Low-interest mate
“Not tonight, dear. I have a headache.”
K. Hazeltine ’52
The Pimple Life
Paris Hilton’s worst nightmare.
Elena K. Carr ’99
Male pattern boldness
“Hey, baby, your place or mine?”
Tom McClellan
Business reply pail
Where we throw all the unwanted advertisements.
K. Hazeltine ’52
Meet the Patents
Pfizer and Eli Lilly have the urge to merge.
Kathie Zatkin ’72
Lift magazine
Specializes in photo essays of elevators.
Judith Schemel Suelzle
The Love Ranger
"Hi ho, Silver! New in town?"
Risa Nye '77
| Early wiser
A woman’s advantage.
Joe Harrison
Man o’ Par
Tiger Woods continues to struggle.
Donald Vermeer ’54
Teams of Endearment
The Golden Bears.
Noah Stern ’93
Move in the Time of Cholera
Good advice.
Risa Nye ’77
The boy who cried golf
No one listened when he yelled “fore!”
Tom McClellan
Casey at the Bar
Strikes out again with the blonde.
Louis Cherin ’36
Good Pill Hunting
Where’s the Prozac?
Art Stamps III ’80
Goldirocks
First the porridge, then the dancing.
Albert Ball
My Wife
Bill Clinton turns to writing fiction.
Gil Atkinson ‘53
Undeclawed war
Serious catfight.
Doug Raymond ‘67
Time flies when you’re having fin
Another great time at the Chinese restaurant.
Nancy Jackson ‘79
The Bah Area
Republican view of us.
Art Stamps III ‘80
Carbivore
Not the Atkins type.
Pat Phillips ‘69
Poup du jour
French poodles do their daily business.
Ann T. Elliot ‘70
“We who are about to lie…”
Tobacco magnates prepare for Congressional testimony.
Henry P. Johnson, Boalt ‘56
Love Parsonified
Marriage.
Tom McClellan |
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Bummer
Arnold's fuel bill.
 | From the Twisted mailbag: Tia Bodington ’78 made us reach for the antacids by writing: “When the Cal Monthly arrives, we always turn first to the Twisted Titles page and have a laugh reading them at dinner.” Robert Whyte ’60, who’s trying this dangerous hobby for the first time, writes that “after a couple of weeks going crazy trying to get the hang of it, I think I’ve got one that works.” He did get it right, technically, but didn’t make the final cut. On the other hand, the younger and prettier Elena K. Carr ’99, who also claimed that this was her very first time, did pass our spurious test. Whether you’re a Twisted virgin or merely a dinner companion, send us your titles (of a movie, play, book, saying, whatever), changing one letter (and one letter only) and adding a snappy underline, to: Twisted Titles, California Monthly, Berkeley, CA 94720. The title Title comes from the high-octane C. Kristina Roper Graber ’82. |
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