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Cairopractor
Egyptian doctor. |  | |
Impatient services
Hospitals for Type As.
Lynne Rauscher-Davoust 57
A Beautiful Mini
The shorter, the better.
Steve Kious 71
Homelane security
U.S. drivers required to use right side only.
Julianne Jones 61
Wall Street Weak
Right after I invested.
Ronald Robinson
Zen Commandments
Written on tea leaves.
Joseph Kim 95
WorldCon
Corporate accounting.
Ayala Ochert
Tex and the City
Midnight Cowboy redux.
Risa Eikind Nye 77
Call cheater for title
Ad campaign for real-estate scam.
Patricia Leslie 96
All pork and no play
Hog farmers lament.
Neil McCabe, Boalt 65
SASE sex
USPS competes with 900-numbers.
John Dannenberg
From Herb to Eternity
Ashcroft proposes death penalty for possession of cannabis.
David Pauleen 81
Parking is such sweet sorrow
Well, its kind of sad, sometimes.
Doug Raymond 67
Old MacDonald Had a Marm
She taught school.
Gene Smith 34
Generous to a vault
Banker likes the safe.
Martin Easton 49
The Pilates of Penzance
The buckaneers attain the very model of a great set of abs.
Risa Elkind Nye 77
Alma Pater
School for misogynists.
Lou Cherin 36
Jason Kids
Id sure like to play for the Warriors.
Joe Traynor 57
Optical allusion
Sly wink.
Martin Easton 49
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The Graves of Wrath
Where the hatchets are buried.
Walter Ems 46
Rational Rifle Association
Not very likely.
J.W. Downs
Wag the Hog
Congress passes pork again.
Helen Yale, M.A. 62
Huckleberry Fins
Benchley rewrites Twain.
Jim Fox 72
Strawberry Creep
Campus vagrant.
Roger Thompson 50
In the biginning
Baseball fans rewrite Genesis.
Les Reinke
The bulk stops here
Another diet fails.
Helen Yale, M.A. 62
Ale Things Considered
NPR does special on Irish pubs.
Donald Vermeer 54
The Zit Parade
High school graduation.
Nan Sparrow 47
Pole fault
Jumper hits the crossbar.
Roger Thomson 50
The Big Dame
Its not over until she sings.
Gail Schubert 65
Duel personality
Aaron Burr.
Joe Traynor 57
Home of the tree
Dogs find relief on Stanford campus.
Donald Vermeer 54
Premature girth
Baby fat.
Jack Bybee, Boalt 62
Twisted Titled
Richard III.
Arthur Tognazzini 55
Three Fog Night
San Francisco summer.
Martin Easton 49
Confusius
The other, dumber Chinese philosopher.
Chung Fung 71
Psyche
Hotel owner turns to therapy rather than acting out.
Jim Fox 72
Cal Beans
Vegans and animal rights activists force change of mascot.
Jim Fox 72
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Meri Mitsuoshi '84 writes that she was "strongly encouraged" to submit a Twisted Title "by my husband Mark, who claims that he married me for my California Monthly 'subscription.'" Good choice, Mark. Doug Raymond '67, whos been showing up on this page for years, would no doubt agree. A "semi-retired" engineer who worked for Teradyne, Inc. in Walnut Creek for 29 years, Doug now has time to do volunteer work and also travel to China, as he did in May with the UC Alumni Chorus (which was cofounded in 1985 by his wife Alma Toroian '67). We asked Doug to give Meri and Mark a tip on how to break in here: "Quantity begets quality," he says. "If you send in enough titles, one will sneak through." So, send us a merry quantity of titles (of books, plays, movies, etc.)--sneaking in one changed letter only and marking down a quality underline--to Twisted Titles, California Monthly, Berkeley 94720 (or calmonthly@alumni.berkeley.edu). The Title title is from our one-man twisted chorus, Joe Traynor '57. |
