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The Rage of the Lock Bad hair day. Barbara Schmittel The Welding Planner Guide to making a strong bond in your marriage. Dennis Caspe ’64,
Cheryl Caspe ’65 Ford Exploder Truth in advertising. Joe Traynor ’57 Blue and Bold California manic-depressive. Norman Bonner ’42 Must-see TD Tom Holmoe’s fall lineup. Mason Savage ’92 The Natty Professor Dresses well for class. A.M. Eisenstein ’51 Past Times at Ridgemont High Looking through the yearbook. Danny Hum ’76, O.D. ’80 Arm deco Tattoo. Rolf Augustine ’60 Not cross buns Happy rolls. Betty Ann Sciamanna ’73 Chex Panisse Alice Waters opens for breakfast. Steven Hill ’68 Octopissy Miss Moneypenny has PMS. Cam Girard Corbin ’64 Barbara Dingsolver Author does body and fender work. Barbara Morley ’53 Give us this day our
daily broad Prayer session at the Playboy mansion. Joe Traynor ’57 Dread and butter Afraid of cholesterol. Betty Ann Sciamanna ’73 My Hair Lady Musical by Barnum & Bailey. Walter Birnbaum ’28  Exorcycle Device designed to expel Satan. Kip Cady ’52 | Bitter Homes and Gardens
Magazine for dysfunctional
families.
Robert Allen ’34
Eyes Wide Slut
Observant hooker.
Ron Bibo ’63
Red Roses for a Glue Lady
Elmer’s saleswoman of the month.
D’Arcy Selwood ’47
Moonfaker
007 checks out rumors we didn’t really go there.
Cam Girard Corbin ’64
The Bonesetter’s Laughter
Operation funnybone.
Lynne Rauscher-Davous ’57
Tome Raider
Lara Croft, plagiarist.
David Kelso ’69
Auntie Mate
Uncle.
Nan Sparrow ’47
The rail splinter
What got under young Abe’s skin.
Doug Raymond ’65
Dean Abby
Abigail van Buren is named head of psychology department.
Joanne Sandstrom ’59
Boys to hen
Sex-change procedure goes wrong.
Philip Skarin ’46
Lovely Pita
A Lebanese deli.
Dave Morse ’71
We’re having a seat wave
Hula performance under way.
Gene Smith ’34
Madegascar
Automobile pioneer.
D’Arcy Selwood ’47
The Kids of the Spiderwoman
Each has eight legs.
Jeanette Schemel ’41
The Complete Dorks of Shakespeare
Petruchio, Antipholus, Dromio….
Wendell Simons ’49, MLS ’54
Out of sight, out of wind
Finishing last in a marathon.
Joe Traynor ’57
Gown and Country
Line dancing in elegant evening wear.
Danny Hum ’76, O.D. ’80
Artifacial intelligence
Plastic surgery designed to make you look smarter.
Jeanette Schemel ’41
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As Lime Goes By We hear the Third Man zither theme.
Hey, we were just kidding last month, when we allowed one title to have two tiny changes. As hordes of purists have demanded: One per entry! Speaking of entries, we were asked how the titles come in. First of all, it’s an international sport; this issue included titles from such beyond-the-Bay places as Germany and New Zealand. Rolf Augustine ’60 from nearby Santa Cruz has a habit of sending post cards containing one title each; for this issue’s consideration, he sent 27 post cards. A bit obsessed. Whereas, pushing the envelope, so to speak, in one single, three-page, both-sides-filled letter, Danny Hum ’76, O.D. ’80, crammed in 69 entries (did someone say OD?). Whatever you’re dosing on, send in your titles, of a movie, play, book, or whatever, changing one letter only (did you hear that, Cal Monthly staff?), and adding a snappy underline, to Twisted Titles, California Monthly, Berkeley 94720. The Title title is from the elusive and mysterious
Kip Cady ’52. |
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