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My Deft Foot
Mia Hamm’s autobiography.
Jonathan Karpf ’76, M.A. ’80
Oedipus, King of Themes
Yes, a lot of papers have been written about him.
Doug Raymond ’67
A fête worse than death
Your spouse’s high school reunion.
Jeanette Schemel ’41
The fake that launched a thousand ships
Counterfeit Helen abducted by Trojans.
Bill Wallace ’73
Lemon chicken with tapers
Candlelight dinner.
K. Hazeltine ’52
Let me wipe away your tsars
Lenin’s plea to the proletariat.
Tom McClellan
The Way We Wire
SBC training manual.
D’Arcy Selwood
A Welk on the Wild Side
Champagne punk rock.
Bill Wallace ’73
Tar on terrorism
Old punishment for new problem.
Maridee Stanley ’74
Hooter vacuum cleaners
Bust dusters.
J. W. Downs
John Deare
Dyslexic farmer’s wife sends a letter.
Art Poulin ’48
Kappa Aloha Psi
University of Hawaii gets a new fraternity.
Paul Panichelli ’83
Axes of evil
Viking WMD.
Cheryl Green ’93
Brawn v. Board of Education
The football team gets its way.
David Hammer ’66
Rove’s Labors Lost
Kerry wins!
Don Atkinson-Adams ’72
| Les Chimps Elysees
Primate house at the Paris zoo.
Tom McClellan
Bony Soprano
Anorexic diva.
Joe Traynor ’57
You’ve Tot Mail
E-mail from the grandkids.
Cari Hall ’63
Faux pat
Tapped the wrong derriere.
Jeanette Schemel ’41
Lesion of Honor
Dueling wound.
David Hammer ’66
The mind is a terrible thing to taste
Hannibal Lecter reveals all.
Art Poulin ’48
Troth is stranger than fiction
Marriage is not like a romance novel.
Tom McClellan
Crave New World
This one’s too much like Huxley’s.
Kathie Zatkin ’72
Cut me some smack
Junkie begs for a fix.
K. Hazeltine ’52
Piller of the community
Village pharmacist.
Cheryl Green ’93
Green Bay Parkers
Valet service at Lambeau Field.
Tom McClellan
Girlie mon
Arnold in Jamaica.
Bill Sibbett ’501
Hail yo California!
Rocky comes to campus.
Jerry Factor ’54
Petophile
Dirty old man lusts after Tabby.
Maridee Stanley ’74
Fast accompli
Premature ejaculation in Paris.
Bill Wallace ’73
The Gat in the Hat
Shoe bomber rethinks his approach.
Leonard Fick ’51 |
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War on drags
John Ashcroft cracks down on transvestites.
 | Imagine the twisted looks on the faces of 280,000 unwitting Cal alums! That’s how many extra folks are receiving this “special issue”--probably sent out to sound the trumpets for the new chancellor. Perhaps we should introduce and explain ourselves. “Twisted Titles” has proudly elbowed out more worthy fare and taken up one page in each issue of this magazine since 1991. It could be called literary, witty, even educational. Or it could be called trashy. It is a “contest”--with no prize, except for that which attends publication (Shakespeare thought highly of that). The object is to misspell the title of a book, a play, a movie, or a common saying--by one letter only--and add a snappy underline. Send the result to California Monthly, Alumni House, Berkeley 94720 or e-mail calmonthly@alumni.berkeley.edu. The title Title was sent in by the well-heeled Bill Wallace ’73. |
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