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We Shall Overcomb Reunion of ’60s protestors. Jerome Fishkin ’65 Long live the kink! Toast at chiropractor’s convention. Joe Traynor ’57 Yankee Poodle Dandy American Kennel Club champion. Wendell Simons ’49 Pop Hoes the Weasel Old man gets revenge on the danged varmint. Nancy Jackson ’79 Gone with the Kind Child abduction in Munich. Dick Grant Six Flogs S & M theme park. Ken Barlett ’60 The Sulk Road As we drove on toward Kashgar, the children rarely spoke, except to ask, “Are we there yet?” Doug Raymond ’67 Fortune rookies Novice Chinese seers. Chung Fung ’71 Dawn with Love Great way to start the day. Alan Fibish ’52 Desk drive Telecommuting. Tom McClellan Funding Nemo A family trip to the Disney Store. Amy Noland Cooke Pump Fiction “Gas prices hit all-time low!” Joe Traynor ’57 The lessor of two evils Guy who rents the Bates Motel and that house in Amityville. Tom McClellan Patch Me if You Can Scarecrow’s plea. Kathleen Wright ’76 Sigmund Fraud The past, present, and future of an illusion. Doug Raymond ’67 Sexbiscuit Jumbo-size Viagra. Jeanette Schemel ’41 Baggers can’t be choosers It’s the customer who selects paper or plastic. Tom McClellan  | It’s not for me to lay
I’m the rooster.
D’Arcy Selwood ’47
Cat scam
Fake pedigree at pet shop.
K. Hazeltine
Hogan’s Herpes
Bob Crane’s womanizing has consequences.
Lisa Wood ’83
Baiting for Godot
When he goes fishing, someone else has to put the worm on his hook.
Rolf Augustine ’60
The Call Street Journal
Hookers’ newspaper.
Toshiko Iwata ’59
Cocktail jour
24 times the fun!
Doug Raymond ’67
The Doting Game
Played by grandparents.
Jeanette Schemel ’41
From cradle to crave
Too short to measure.
Chuck Brown ’42
Bet lag
Vegas computers down.
Kathleen Wright ’76
Veterans of Foreign Bars
AA splinter group.
Joe Traynor ’57
The way you wear your fat
Ode to a porker.
D’Arcy Selwood ’47
Mercedes Bent
Teenage daughter borrows the family car.
Warren Johnson ’55, Boalt ’63
Shake, rattle, and poll
Get out the vote!
Myra Mielke
The missing rink
A connection with global warming?
Jim Maas, MPH ’78
Hard Rick Café
Remake of Casablanca.
Jerome Fishkin ’65
The Fable Guy
Aesop.
Arthur Tognazzini ’55
The Italian Jab
Stallone uses new punch.
Alan Fibish ’52
Teabiscuit
The race horse for the genteel set.
Arthur Tognazzini ’55 |
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Point yourself into a corner
Schoolroom punishment.
 Arthur Tognazzini ’55 sends congratulations on Twisted’s 13th anniversary and suggests “something special” for the occasion: a contest to identify the Top Twister of All Time. “My nominee,” he contests, “is Joe Traynor ’57.” Joe’s a powerful candidate, but close readers will have noticed the emergence of the mysterious “K. Hazeltine.” This turns out to be Dr. Karl Hazeltine, who attended Berkeley for the first year of medical school (back in the day), earning his M.D. from UCSF in 1952. He practiced general medicine in Henderson, Nevada for 36 years before retiring and taking up his real career--twisting titles. He sends in a bunch (a few dozen titles) every few weeks (20 batches thus far), and is modest about his achievements: “Some of them are okay. A lot of them are junk.” His advice for the novice? “Just have fun.” So, mysterious novices and powerful veterans alike, send us your modest achievements, changing one letter only of the title (of a book, movie, play, whatever) and adding a snappy underline, to: Twisted Titles, California Monthly, Alumni House, Berkeley 94720. The title Title was sent by the well-educated
Dr. Hazeltine.
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