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Carbie dolls Reubenesque proportions. Jeanette Schemel '41 Sex in the Cite The footnote everyone will read. Barry Goode Censory overload What happened to free speech? K. Hazeltine '52 In case of fire, evaluate But be quick about it. Doug Raymond '67 Yo Yo Pa The cellist's father. Larry Shorne '50 Wurst case scenario Someone steals my baloney sandwich. Joe Traynor '57 Dumb and Lumber President Bush's conservation plan. Bill Wallace '73 Simper Fi The many, the ashamed, the non-Marines. Andrew Dosa Chanting of the guard The monks of Buckingham Palace. David Hammer '66 King of shades Ray Charles. Judith Schemel Suelzle Bioweedback So much for Roundup. Tom Keefe '57 Mellow Dog Democrat Clinton inhales. Kristina Roper Graber '82 Yolo contendere UC Davis lawyer. Jackson Brewer '52 One Sine Day Trigonometry final. Arthur Tognazzini '55  Eine Kleine Nichtmusik Mozart's children prefer rap. Doug Raymond '67 | Fedoral Bureau of Investigation
Looks into hat crimes.
K. Hazeltine '52
Soup d'etat
Consomme and bullion had a beef, so they overthrew the Prime Minestrone.
Tom McClellan
Hostile makeover
The Apprentice meets Queer Eye.
Doug Raymond '67
Ikealist
One who thinks all interiors should conform to Swedish standards.
Tom McClellan
The Gall Street Journal
Special Enron edition.
E. W. Jackson II '70
Sign of the mimes
...
David Pauleen '81
Casablanda
Old quarterback's home.
Dennis Kavanagh '59, Boalt '62
A Farewell to Arts
School Board trims budget.
Ted Terrill '51
Castroti
Cuban male sopranos.
David Hammer '66
Chipwrecked
Investor loses big in the dot-com bust.
Bill Wallace '73
Something's Gotta Live
Infertility clinic slogan.
Heather Scott '98
President Hush
Cheney's talking.
Cathy Leonard '74
Bimolar disorder
Two rotten teeth.
Tom Keefe '57
Adam's Bib
Man's first cover-up.
Gene Smith '34
Nemoglobin
A fish named Wanderer.
Mike Wagner '64
Whole Lot of Snakin' Going On
Jerry Lee Lewis calls Roto-Rooter.
Doug Raymond '67
Got silk?
Upscale ad slogan.
Jackson Brewer '52
The Mummy's Band
The Rolling Stones.
Bill Wallace '73
Witless Protection Program
Welcomes all Twisted Titlers.
David Hammer '66
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Nice guys finish fast
Eternal female complaint
 | As the academic year comes to a close, we have some distress on our hands, primarily from the early '60s. Susan Bright Winn '62 begins her letter, "Please, it's embarrassing," and it turns out she's talking about this very page. She continues: "Do you think the Stanford alumni magazine would grow to depend on such a one-trick pony?" We're not sure about Stanford; Twisted Titles might be a tad messy for those squeaky-clean (but prison torture-teaching) folks. And then Ron Bird '63 takes us to task for our apparently unamusing suggestion that checks accompany submissions. "No money (or dung) is enclosed," says he. Whatever your class or class year, send your embarrassing titles (of a movie, book, play, whatever), with or without dung, changing one and one letter only and adding a snappy underline, to California Monthly, Alumni House, Berkeley 94729. The title Title comes from Old Faithful Joe Traynor '57. |
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