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Axes of evil
Bush and Cheney cut down all the trees.
Hunan Genome Project
DNA analysis elucidates why
Chinese food is so tasty.
Roy Abendroth '82
Mine your own business
Enron's motto.
Anne Becker '65
Red Nose Tea
Lipton adds alcohol.
Wayne Emery '59
The Bobbit
Creature with a small handicap.
Carol Kohli '73
Opiate of the gasses
Tums.
Elaine Hamill '80
Swann's Gay
An outing with Marcel Proust.
Doug Raymond '67
Changing Canes
Road rage at the rest home.
Jack Bybee, Boalt '62
Shopping male
Rare spouse.
Martin Easton '49
Great balls of wire
When you connect the TV, VCR, and DVD.
Nancy Sommer '62
Smell checker
Bomb-sniffing dog.
Anne Becker '65
It's all over but the shooting
George W. assures nation.
Joe Traynor '57
Grip and bear it
Second Amendment bumper sticker.
Nancy Jackson '79
The Grass Menagerie
Pot party.
Nan Sparrow '47
Changing Danes
A lady from Copenhagen remarries.
Lynn Sims '66
Haydn's Crumpet Concerto in Eb Major
Franz Josef had a taste for light and airy pieces.
William Murphy '50
A case of wife or death
Shotgun wedding.
Homer Fuller '35
| Take the Monet and Run
What art thieves do.
Doug Abbot '67
Senile implant
Brain stiffener.
Anne Becker '65
Fiat tux
Black tie required.
Richard Irwin '35
Sometimes a Great Lotion
The latest from Jergens.
Randy Stephenson '85
Vaca con Dios
Good God, you hit the cow!
Joe Traynor '57
Gum a few bars
What Grandpa did with the Butterfingers.
Elaine Hamill '80
Typowriter
A machine that facilitates the composition of Twisted Titles.
Doug Raymond '67
Carpanile
Biggest fish on campus.
Jerome Fishkin '65
Silence of the Iambs
Longfellow is dead.
Jeanette Schemel '41
International Mouse
Mickey.
Gene Smith '34
Hi, homey, I'm home
Non-nuclear family life in the 'hood.
Nancy Jackson '79
Ignorance of the jaw is no excuse
For slipshod dental work.
Richard Irwin '35
"I did not have sex with that Loman!"
Farmer's daughter pleads case to dad.
Joe Traynor '57
Nom de plump
Fat person's pseudonym.
Richard Irwin '35
St. Patrick's Gay
I can believe that.
Bert Horn '44
Quit pro quo
Early retirement offer.
Doug Raymond '67
Bard in the hand
Shakespeare arrested.
Martin Easton '49
Fifty Ways to Leave Your Liver
Have another beer, dear.
Doug Abbott '67
The Book of Jab
Biblical icon loses his patience.
Nancy Jackson '79 |
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| Perhaps we have a record: In his maiden voyage to Twisted Titles, Martin Easton '49 sent in 99 entries, neatly typed, in three pages, two columns to a page. We gave Martin a call in Clayton to ask him to explain his outburst. He blames it directly on his wife, Harriet Neufeld Williams Easton '49, whom he married on March 16. He had never seen California Monthly before, but discovered it in his bride's apartment. She pointed to this page and said, "Why don't you give twisting a try?" We say the same to the rest of you. Send your proposals (changing one letter only of a book, movie, etc. title), after marrying them to a snappy underline, to: Twisted Titles, California Monthly, Alumni House, Berkeley 94720. And, yes, you modern, probably divorced, folks may e-mail your entries to calmonthly@alumni. berkeley.edu. The Title title is from the environmentally sound Julianne Jones '61. |
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