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     November 7, 2009

      
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Past Issues

 



The New Yorker


Bona fido
Good dog.
Nan Sparrow ’47

Miami Nice
Elian’s short note to Fidel.
Art Poulin ’48

The joint of no return
Death row.
John Harp ’50

Right of the Iguana
Does the ACLU know about this?
D’Arcy Selwood ’47

Federal Reserve Bunk
Greenspanspeak.
Walter Birnbaum

I think, therefore I om
The Cartesian approach to Zen.
Paul Clarke ’75

Jack the Knife
Losta control of the truck.
Chris Argentos

Achilles heal
No longer a weak spot.
Ronald Robinson

A Streetcat Named Desire
Popular among tomcats.
Ted Terrill ’51

Ode Fellows
Shelley and Keats.
Gene Smith ’34

Let me cell you sweetheart
My new-fangled phone needs testing.
Jim Blewer ’41

Mild blue yonder
Unitarian goes to heaven.
Catherine Maclay, M.J. ’82

Who wants to carry a multi-millionaire?
Silicon Valley cab company’s want ad.
Marlene Henderson ’57

Purina Cat Chew
Tobacco company targets new market.
Dave Peterzell ’83

Singing in the Pain
What most of us would be doing if we danced on a rainy day.
Randy Stephenson ’85

Scribble
Popular children’s game.
Chris Argentos

Chicano, Illinois
On becoming a major voting block, Hispanics rename city.
Barbara Hyde ’66

Bead reckoning
The abacus.
Jim Blewer ’41

As the World Burns
Nero’s favorite soap opera.
Kip Cady ’52

Erin Brockobich
Capsule review by PG&E.
Joe Traynor ’57

The Lost Supper
Pre-crucifixion indigestion.
Nan Sparrow ’47

You da van!
Buyer selects his SUV.
Jim Blewer ’41

The Road Less Token
Turnpike opens its stiles.
Carol Kohli ’73

Hen in Black
Cock Robin’s funeral.
Susan Leberman ’68, Boalt ’76

Oklahome
We Sooners know where our roots are!
Rolf Augustine ’60

J. Crow
Where Heckyl and Jekyll get their clothes.
Kenneth Atterman ’66

Call of the House of Usher
“This way, please.”
Miiko Doihara ’48

A just and lasting peach
Another genetically engineered food.
Miiko Doihara ’48

Swan Fake
We knew all along that bird wasn’t for real!
Rolf Augustine ’66

Dow, Voyager
Bette Davis, day trader.
Susan Leberman ’68, Boalt ’76

Blazing Paddles
Ping-pong championship.
Jim Marinos ’51

Holy patrimony
Batman and Batgirl ditch Robin, head for Vegas.
Dave Peterzell ’83

Boys Don’t Fry
Documentary exposé about lack of male jobs at McDonald’s.
Kenneth Atterman ’66

An IKEA whose time has come
Swedish store finally opens in Emeryville.
Barbara Hyde ’66

Anything to keep the little dears quiet.
Kip Cady ’52




It’s like Time and Newsweek having the same cover: Jim Blewer ’41 and Joe Traynor ’57 this month sent in the same title (“Three strokes and you’re out”). Which means we can dissect their underlines and find out how their twisted minds work. One underline read: “Over-eager swain disappoints.” We suspect that the use of the quaint word “swain” and the generally romantic point points to Blewer. The other underline was: “HMO tightens policy.” That sounds like the more cynical and worldly Traynor.

Let’s peek at who wrote what and…we’re right! Speaking of peeking, we took a look at the address we’ve listed here for a while and notice that we omitted about a third of it—which is why some of your titles come here late or not at all! So, send us your peak titles, changing only one letter (not one-third) and adding a snappy underline, to: Twisted Titles, California Monthly, Alumni House, Berkeley, CA 94720. The sophisticated Title title was sent in by Catherine Maclay, M.J. ’82, a beautiful woman who is rumored to be on intimate terms with the editor.


Articles

Cover Page
A Scientist on the Fly
What Should UC Be
Si, se puede
Q&A - Severin Borenstein

Departments

Alumni Almanac
A Personal Essay
Calendar
CalZone
In Memoriam
Keeping in Touch
Letters
Recalling Cal
Talk of the Gown
Twisted Titles


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