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Spellfound -- Dan Quayle's favorite movie.
Woods fail me But my irons are o.k. -- Nan Sparrow
Toy Storm Christmas. -- Marty Rosman '53
From the sacred to the propane Barbecue after church. -- Dan Lee '80
I Heard It Through the Gripevine Letters to the editor. -- Jim Blewer '41 Snit happens
Try not to tick off your wife. --Dan Lee '80
Jest desserts Taste funny. -- Richard Rott, MLIS '81 HMM
Medical plan for skeptics. -- Nan Sparrow
The Great Gall of China Nuclear secrets? What nuclear secrets? --John Todor '72 Citizen Kant
Builds philosophy empire, gets corrrupted, dies. -- Marty Rosman '53
The Onsider Football's desperation play. -- Jim Blewer '41 Wheeler Mall
Privatization sweeps the campus. -- Harold Brownstein, M.D. '45
Farty-Niners Team stinks up Candlestick. -- Brad Glanville '69 My pup runneth over.
When I calleth him. -- Art Poulin '48
A Clean, Well-lighted Place for Kooks Hoover Institution. -- Joe Traynor '57 Remembrance of Things Fast
Marcel's reunion at Ridgemont High. --Catherine Maclay, M.J. '81
Beauty and the Boast The Trumps at home. -- Marty Rosman '53
Rather Knows Best Promo for CBS News. -- Joe Traynor '57
Bush comes to shove George W. challenges Jesse Ventura. -- Richard Rott, MLIS '81 Cogito ergo bum
College dropout. -- Michael Schott '77
Let there be fight Go Bears! -- Doug Raymond '65 The chickens came home to roast
But none lived to tell about it. -- Joe Traynor '57
Will work for Ford Autoworker seeks employment. -- Dan Lee '80 The Rolling Scones
Mick Jagger's breakfast. -- Lewis Leader '70
Trench Impressionists Like a narrow roomÉwallsÉclosing in on me. -- Joe Traynor '57 Marx had a little lamb
Kindergarten in Leningrad. -- David Saperstein '89
Virginia is for Losers Failed state slogan. -- Dan Lee '80 Annie Doesn't Give Here Any More
Try her at her office. -- Gene Smith '34
Hokemon Another shallow, market-driven kiddie fad. -- Karl Smith '73 Footers
Specialty club features tight-fitting sandals. -- Joe Traynor '57
Forrest Bump Tom Hanks denied an airplane seat. -- Dan Lee '80 Mental floss
Prevents dum disease. -- David Peterzell
Shaken, not starred Sean Connery passed over for coveted role. -- Jim Blewer '41 Batman and Rodin
The odd couple. -- Nan Sparrow
Inspector Gidget Sally Field plays a ditzy crimefighter. -- Dan Lee '80 Grace under sire
Maidservant succumbs to master's wiles. -- Jim Blewer '41
Fareplay Tickling a cab driver under the chin with a $20 bill --Joe Traynor '57 Nothing but bet
If Pete Rose had played basketball. -- Art Poulin '48
Publish or parish Prof considers the priesthood. -- Dan Lee '80
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Twisted minds have long wanted to know more about the Head Twister, Joe Traynor '57. Our crack investigative reporting team found out, by asking him, that Joe Traynor is an Aggie, meaning both a 1957 graduate of UC Davis and since then an agri-businessman, the last quarter century as head of a consulting firm, Scientific Agriculture Company, in Bakersfield. He grew up in Berkeley, the son of former California Chief Justice Roger Traynor '23, and wanted to get away from Cal (where he spent one summer studying) and from the law. Joe is fairly guarded--or unconscious--about his twisted talent; he thinks me might be a twisted idiot savant.
When asked for his favorite Twisted Title, he remembers one by Jim Blewer '41 and says, "Wish I'd thought of it." Does he laugh out loud at some of his more bizarre entries? "Sometimes. I do try to see how close to the edge I can get," he says, possibly referring to those we can't print in this magazine, like this one from his current batch: "Ipso Fucto."
Walk up to the edge and shove your titles (of a movie, book, play, or whatever, changing one letter only and adding a snappy underline) to Twisted Titles, California Monthly, Alumni House, Berkeley 94270. |
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