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     August 8, 2008

      
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Past Issues

 

The Lifts of the Magi
So what? Kings should look taller.
Art Poulin ’48

100-meter dish
American Olympic sprinter Marion Jones.
Jim Blewer ’41

Dirt Coke
The ultimate weight-loss drink.
Doug Raymond ’65

Once and Future Sing
King Arthur does
Golden Oldies.
Kevin Starr, MLS ’74

A Goy Named Sue
No kibbutz for her.
Bruce Thompson ’49, Boalt ’53

Hamper’s Magazine
Bathroom reading.
Jeanette Schemel ’41

Someone to Hatch Over Me
Great eggspectations.
D’Arcy Selwood ’47

Highlander: The Endgaze
Kilt reveals more than anticipated.
Jim Blewer ’41

Sneaker of the House
Master of the midnight refrigerator raid.
Kip Cady ’52

In Bod we trust
Swimwear designer motto.
Toshiko Iwata ’59

The sound of one hand slapping
Startling!
Gene Smith ’34

Ah, tweet mystery of life
The Swallows. Capistrano.
Joe Traynor ’57

You light up my wife
I’ve quit smoking.
Jeanette Schemel ’41

Red-shift freshman
This kid runs real fast!
Doug Raymond ’65

Beyond the Glue Horizon
Horse hopes for better afterlife.
Jim Blewer ’41

Fang shui
Aesthetic orthodontics.
Jeanette Schemel ’41

What kind of fowl am I?
The ugly duckling is perplexed.
Gene Smith ’34

Water under the fridge
Better check the warranty.
Chris Argentos

The Iliac
Still Homer, but more hip.
Don Duncan ’79

Toon Without Pity
The Roadrunner.
Joe Traynor ’57

Facial profiling
Arresting visage?
James Maas, MPH ’78

Go Tears!
Another losing football season.
Ro Bianchi ’52

Deal “M” for Murder
The card game takes an ominous turn.
Albert Ball ’53, Ph.D.

’58 Bears Roebuck
ASUC store.
Jim McCollum ’34

Hurry Potter
We can’t wait for number five!
Molly Fullerton

Buttered wife syndrome
New chapter in The Joy of Sex.
Joe Traynor ’57

Wailing for Godot
When he finally showed up, everybody cried.
Rolf Augustine ’60

An ill hind that blows no good
Mad cow’s flatulence.
Mac Elliott ’47

Yipeline
How wolves communicate.
Jim Blewer ’41

Hilton Motels
Downsizing.
Chris Argentos

Ship happens
The Titanic.
Jim Blewer ’41

Be Prebared
Nudist Scouts’ motto.
Jeremy Dashe ’89

Winter’s Sale
Shakespeare folios at bargain prices.
Albert Ball ’53, Ph.D. ’58

Seems to me I’ve heard that gong before
Perennial loser.
D’Arcy Selwood ’47

Pest in Show
Popcorn rattler during movie.
Jim Blewer ’41


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The Tall of the Wild
Giraffes


Know your co-conspirators: Gene Smith ’34, of San Luis Obispo, is 88 years old and should know better, but he can lay claim to being one of our oldest as well as most prolific twisters. (His title is our Title this month.) At Cal, Gene was president of the Big C Society and captain of the tennis team; in 1936, he won a Pacific Coast doubles champion-ship with the great Don Budge, and in 1939 he played at Wimbledon (Bobby Riggs won the men's title that year). Gene—and it's dedication like this that we appreciate—subscribed to California Monthly while he served in the South Pacific in World War II. "I desperately needed some reading material," he says. After earning a Ph.D., he taught for decades at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo, retiring as chair of the history department. His wife, Elinor Crafts Smith ’34, has been known to groan at some of Gene's twisting; but his daughter, Anne Smith McCarthy ’68 always calls her father when he makes our list.

Whichever way you list and however desperate you are, send us your titles (of a book, movie, play, or whatever), changing one letter only and adding a snappy underline, to Twisted Titles,
California Monthly, Alumni House, Berkeley 94720.

Articles

Can we talk?
Woman Warrior speaks peace
Cover Page
Coming home
Recipes for longevity
Taking BART to Stockholm

Departments

Alumni Almanac
A Personal Essay
Calendar
CalZone
In Memoriam
Keeping in Touch
Letters
Recalling Cal
Talk of the Gown
Twisted Titles


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