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Lucia Di Hammermoor Soprano takes up carpentry. -- A.M. Eisenstein Ô51 The Lizard of Menlo Park Edison's pet iguana. -- Michael Barclay Ô73 and Sue Kayton Several readers mentioned this month that the Washington Post, now that Nixon is gone, is looking for ways to expand its power and influence. It came up with a game, challenging its readers to take any word and alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter and then supplying a new definition. Warped Words? Recent examples: "Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly." "Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex." "Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole." Over the years, and especially, it seems, lately, we've known several of the latter type; but none of them belongs to our own Twisters, who will kindly send Titles (of books, movies, or whatever), changing one letter only and adding a snappy underline, to Twisted Titles, California Monthly, Berkeley, CA 94720. The Title title was nailed by A.M. Eisenstein Ô51. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hung ho Male Prostitute -- Nan Sparrow Ô47 Tipanic Do-re-mi-fa-sol- um, um, um. -- Carolyn Hunt Quip pro quo Will write Twisted Titles for food. -- Jermoe Fishkin Ô65 The Timing of the Shrew Shakespeare teaches physics. -- S.L. Weinberg Ô76 Golden Gate Fridge Summer in S.F. -- Ro Bianchi Ô52 Job Traynor Ô57 "I can teach you how to twist titles." -- Laura Lordan Ô93 Dead Man Talking Coroner fired. -- Richard Rott, MLIS Ô71 Seven Eleves A small group of French students hang out at convenience store. -- Nan Sparrow Ô47 Beeper of the faith Priest with pager. -- Myron Tribus Ô42 Augean staples Oats and hay. -- Gene Smith Ô34 The Ring and I Muhammad Ali's memoirs. -- Michael Barclay Ô73 and Sue Kayton Wells Fargo tank Safer than a stagecoach. -- Michael Barclay Ô73 and Sue Kayton Come fry with me Recruitment slogan for McDonald's. -- Jerald Terry Ô59 Mason-Dijon Line Toward a more flavorable union. -- James Estes Ô49 Road raga Music to soothe the savage driver. -- James Estes Ô49 Snob Falling on Cedars Snooty runner trips. -- Helen Rubin Connelly Say it ain't Bo Shepherdess arrested on morals charges. -- Joe Traynor Ô57 The Hand Played On "Thing" gives a piano concert. -- Catherine Swan Gallinger Ô90 The Mighty Dicks Anaheim police detectives field hockey team. -- Doug Raymond Vague Fashion magazine loses touch with its readers. -- Jim Lee Ô78 All Fail Blue and Gold To hell with the grading curve. -- Virginia Leach Ô38 Got Mink? Down to the basics. --Harold Brownstein Washington, W.C. Major tourist attraction. --Richard Gard, Ph.D. Ô58 Don't throw the babe out with the bathwater Hugh Hefner discusses philosophy. -- Joe Traynor Ô57 Nighty Aprhrodite Zeus tucks in love goddess. -- John Sheaver My Vay Dr. Ruth on top. -- David Pauleen Ô81 Lice Magazine for nit-pickers. -- Marjorie Proudfoot Bohrer Ô42 Dole House If Elizabeth had won! -- Lee Ross Ô78, Ph.D. Ô89 Eager beamer Scotty can't keep his fingers off the transporter button. -- Yumiko Abe Ô92 SFPD Nice Squad Takes kids on fishing trips. -- Jim Blewer Ô41 On Golden Pony Roy Rogers riding young Trigger -- Vivianne Ratinoff Ô76 Ship of Tools Ace Hardware goes to sea. -- Diana Barber Stott Ô56 Aesop's Tables Early Greek furniture. -- Gene Smith Ô34 All I want is a loom somewhere Obsessive-compulsive weaver. -- Steve Bassel Ô55 A Fight at the Opera Upper class gets rowdy. --Chris Berke Ô98 Agorephobia The fear that only Al Gore will save our open land. -- Lee Ross Ô78, Ph.D. Ô89 The stores of Tripoli Actually, they're bazaars. -- Gene Smith Ô54 Glowin' in the Wind Dylan plays Chernobyl. -- James Estes Ô49 For the love of the dame Edward gives up the throne. -- Jim Blewer Ô41 |
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